Louisville, KY -- "Capable of producing over 40 label styles and sizes, the LabelWriter 400 is the small, fast and functional label printer for everyday use," touts the DYMO website.
Well, it apparently can also withstand the pressures of constant convention use. These handy labelers could be seen everywhere at the SBC Convention this week.
"You just can't tell by their look who anyone is any more," said Al Duncer, a 65 year member of a SBC church outside of Little Rock.
In a crowd of nearly 9,000 messengers of all shapes and sizes, it has become almost impossible to distinguish theological stances simply by appearance. Some theological conservatives do wear jeans and have hair covering the ears, while some liberals have perfectly parted hair with spit-shined shoes and a tie tack.
So, how did the Dymo LabelWriter 400 help?
Approximately 50 self-serve Dymo LabelWriter stations were available at strategic points around the halls of the convention center and in the main assembly area. For the perfect cost of $0.00, at any time, anyone could walk up to a station, print out a label, peel off the backing, and stick the label on his own shirt, coat, forehead, arm, etc.
Apparently, for the same cost, and apparently at any time, anyone could print out a label with the words of his choosing and stick it on the back of another individual.
"Those labels sure were helpful," said Duncer. "I really didn't know what 'reformed' meant. It was helpful to see the signs 'depraved,' 'heretic,' and 'alcoholic' on the backs of people to clarify."
The variety of labels seemed limitless, but the number one label was obviously "Calvinist" seen both on the front as well as the back of clothing. Some were written in smaller letters on small labels, while one "C" "A" "L" "V" "I" "N" "I" "S" "T" was spotted wrapped around the head of a young man who used nine 2" wide labels, each with one letter.
Some labels referenced living preachers, such as: Duncanite, Mohlerist, Deverene, and Driscollian. Others, that may have been slapped on the back of people while they were quietly minding their own business included: Moralist, Universalist, Atheist, Bar-Hopper, and Hyper-Piper.
In an email response to TBNN, a Dymo executive said they were willing to provide the LabelWriter 400s to the SBC in hopes that delegates would bring the idea back to their home churches. "From now until July 31, 2009, all SBC churches will receive 20% off."