01 December, 2009

Squirmeneutics

squir-me-neu-tics (skwûrm'mə-nōō'tĭks)
n. (used with a sing. or pl. verb)
1. the science of misinterpretation, esp. of the Scriptures, to such a degree that it causes listeners with any common sense to squirm.
2. misinterpretation of the Scriptures so absurd that it causes one to question whether or not it could possibly be for real.

Well, it's once again time for our old friend "pastor" Steven Anderson. In case you forgot, some time ago Steven bought us a comprehensive theology of masculine bathroom etiquette. Now Steven blesses us with this tidbit of theological wizardry on why Jesus wore pants and not a robe.

Now, before you watch this, be forewarned. You're IQ is about to drop. While there is a lot out there in the world of theology that irks me, I'm coming to the conclusion that there is really something clinical going on here. This is beyond your annoying fundamentalist rant. This is mental disability. Think I'm being to harsh? Just watch.

18 comments:

Lee Shelton IV said...

"Pastor" Anderson is one of those preachers who have no clue how to preach. I feel bad for him, but even worse for his clueless followers.

Kevin Sorensen said...

Amazing how he can jump from biblical times and contexts to contemporary times and contexts regarding clothing, habits, traditions, words... you name it, he mangles it. "Put your thumb over the 'k' at the end of 'musick.'" I say, just put your thumb over his mouth while he speaks. God will some day.

James McCullough said...

I can't believe it! I think this is actually worse than the epic "comprehensive theology of masculine bathroom etiquette". There is such a lack of spiritual discernment in the church.

Jesse Taylor said...

Wow!

Byron Harvey said...

Answers the question, "what do you get when you put a Bible in the hands of a doofus?"

Answer? A doofus with a Bible in his hands.

Darrin said...

Of course doesn't "as the deer pants for the water" prove that pants were dear to the psalmists?

Byron Harvey said...

Profound, Darrin; at least as profound as Pastor Anderson's insights.

Jeff said...

This guy is just too easy to be a target...

"LORD, let me never get that far from teaching YOUR words."

Fred Butler said...

Is that a bowl of dog food behind him on the floor?

Darrin said...

The dog bowl is for Spot, the gender-appropriate-attire sniffer. He can detect a pants-wearing woman on any given Sunday.

golivelifeloud said...

I don't care if Jesus wore shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, it doesn't matter. Let's instead talk about who Jesus was and what He did.

I do think that he's spot on to what teens are wearing today. You'll find so many girls wearing tight shirts and really, really, short skirts or shorts. It makes it hard for a guy like me to keep his focus! And sadly, it doesn't just happen in the world, I see it in the churches today.

Anyway, this guy is just a ranter and not really preaching what really matters.

Buster H. said...

Change-alujah! - Rev. Billy

The Blainemonster said...

OK, I admit - I haven't even WATCHED the video yet, but I know of this goofball. His sermon on urinals and "p***ing against the wall" is fascinating...alright, I'm gonna have a listen now. If I can stand it...

Ken Summerlin said...

Based on the feedback I hear from the "congregation", there must have been 3, maybe 4 people listening to this "inspired" preaching. I wonder why he thinks this is the most important message he could preach to a lost and dying world?

Eruonen said...

Go to his website and read the "Doctrine Statement" (s)...bizarre.

""We believe that Jesus is God, and that Jesus Christ was begotten by the Holy Ghost of the virgin Mary."

FYI - I am Unitarian (Not UUA) and don't accept the trinitarian formula but this is just ignorant.
And yes, I enjoy the satire.

His other severe statements imply a potentially dangerous individual
to those who he deems unworthy. He states he would like to beat Christopher Lowell (tv interior decorator) because he is gay etc. etc. Read his "essays" if you want to see inside his twisted teachings. Don't let him catch you wearing shorts above the knee.
He thinks male gynecologists are filled with lust and should remove their eyes...literally.

I feel sorry for his child.

Andrew C. Love said...

I don't know what's more depressing: his message, or the laypeople saying "amen" to his message.

Pam Warden Art said...

1 minute 35 seconds, that's all I could do. Sorry :'(kephr

Kirsty said...

His 'history' of dress in the middle east could easily be refuted by him looking at any early Christian or Jewish picture!