19 December, 2009

Slopology

slop-ol-o-gy (slŏp-ŏl'ə-jē)
noun, plural -gies
1. The study of slop

I came across this jewel whilst perusing the internet the other day. Brother Grice here appears to be a rising star in the magical land of IBFdom. Listen closely here as he mounts up for battle and viciously attacks a straw man called "Calvinism."

Warning: You might not want to have your speakers up too loudly as Bro. Grice is found of sudden changes in volume.

8 comments:

Scott Gordon said...

Boy, this brother shore do sound brillyant!

I doubt he is aware of non-evangelists like Edwards, Spurgeon, Whitefield, Carey, & Judson... who were somma dem there dirty Calvunusts, too.

May this guy's tribe decrease.

Sola Gratia.

Jim Pemberton said...

"We were punished because we wanted to go out and knock on doors and ask people if they were going to heaven or not."

Wait, I might have a straw man of my own here, but it might be possible that their evangelism encounters would go something like this:

"'Scuse me, ma'am, are you going to heaven? 'Cause I can tell you how to get there. Alls you gotta do is come to church, believe in Jesus, stop wearing pants and only wear dresses, do whatever yore husband tells you to do, stop playin' cards, don't take that cough syrup 'cause it has alcohol in it, and hate them dirty Calvinists, and wait - we got a whole list here written up that you can have to look at... Anyway, if you do all these things, then God will let you into heaven. Otherwise, yore a heathern and are gonna burn in hell! and good riddance to you. You might as well be a Calvinist!"

So the preacher hears that they are going door to door:

"Excuse me, fellas. Are you going door to door telling people this stuff? That's not a good message to be calling people to. If you want to get involved with what the church has been doing, we've been inviting some neighborhood kids to play ball in our gym where it's safe. We share the gospel with them. Maybe you want to work alongside our minister of evangelism and see the gospel we've been presenting to them. The cleaning lady is home sick and you can start by cleaning up after yesterday's games. The kids are coming back this afternoon if you want to stick around and help out."

Ok, maybe it didn't happen quite that way, but I suspect it's closer to the truth than Brother Grice acquiescing so humbly ("Yes sir, I'll go get the broom.") to a hypercalvinist punishing him for wanting to share the gospel door to door.

Mesa Mike said...

I think Bro. Grice OD'd on CalviNix.

AaronFG said...

I have heard a lot about calvinists, but this one is new to me. They don't care about sharing the Gospel? Oh, and pastor Brice, I came here to listen to God's Word and all I hear was a rant.

Anyway, I have friends who are calvinistic, I know people who are calvinists, and let me tell you that they LOVE to share God's Word.

Oh, and uh, did you know John Piper is a calvinist?

Justin Maute said...

If only bro. Grice actually took the time to see what Calvinism is all about. Then hopefully he would see that it does not prohibit evangelism (that's hyper-calvinism)but supports it for the glory of Christ. This age-old hatred of Calvinism has got to stop. "Calvinistic" theology began long before Calvin was born, just read the New Testament.

Sir Brass said...

Justin, it isn't going to stop. It never HAS stopped even before the Doctrines of Grace were even formalized as doctrines and were just part of what one saw in scripture (see Pelagianism and Semi-Pelagianism, and the early church councils which, using scripture, condemned them).

Aaron, most of us here on this site are staunch Calvinists ourselves and we LOVE the Word of God. However, mockers, revilers, apostates, and blasphemers alike love to paint us as things we are NOT. That's what this post was demonstrating. This Bro. Grice is a mocker of the doctrines of grace. Not saying he isn't saved (and if he is, isn't he sure going to be surprised when he gets to heaven and realizes that his theology was way off track and not glorifying to God, and yet he was still saved..... I LOVE the truth of Christ being our perfect savior!), but he does mock the truth at least for this set of biblical doctrines.

Darrin said...

Amazing how many stupid things a preacher can say in less than 3 minutes.

Dennis said...

Jesus wasn't a Calvinist, Calvinism is Christianity. The reformers didn't preach these things to get people upset like this, Jesus said these things, the reformers just repeated it, and people got upset like this...

Lol, and they always have to shout don't they?

I don't know what church he visited, but he had a bad experience with people, not with Calvinism.

God will convict him of the truth, when the time is right, whether he likes it or not. That's the God of the bible :P

Amen?