24 March, 2009

TIME Article Impacts Baby Boy Names

As most of our readers already know, TIME magazine has reported that the "New Calvinism" is one of "The 10 Ideas Changing the World Right Now." Whether or not this article is true, whether or not it means anything at all, and whether or not it matters is up for debate. Many Calvinists say that the "New Calvinism" is simply the "Old Calvinism." Many Arminians simply hope all this excitement will slowly fade away.

One unexpected result of the TIME article has been an immediate impact on baby boy names. The research department here at TBNN has discovered that since the announcement of the TIME article, certain names have become much more popular for baby boys almost over night. Conversely, the choice of other names has fallen off dramatically.

The results are as follows (first name, followed by percentage change):

Calvin: +500%

Luther: +200%

Ulrich: +15%

Owen: +75%

Edwards: +150%

Spurgeon: +80%

Piper: +750%

R.C.: +50%

Alistair: +80%

Wesley: -300%

Jacobus: -600%

We are also happy to report that the name "Osteen," which had been on the rise for several years, now appears to have plateaued. No information is yet available as to the effect the new Osteen Bible will have on future baby names.


Jeff said...

So "Jeffrey" has seen an 85% decline during this same period...

AlterEgo said...

Rowan: -3billion%

TD said...

Don't mean to rain on your parade, but how can something decrease by more than 100 percent? Is there now a negative number of children being born with the names Wesley and Jacobus?

Elder Eric said...


The beauty of satire is that it doesn't always have to make perfect sense.


Phil Walker said...

TD: Not only are no babies being born called Wesley, but children already called Wesley are changing their names. Perhaps.

Any news on what happened to that ubiqitously Calvinist name, John?

Derek Ashton said...

What about AUGUSTINE???

I love that name! And we all know he was the first Calvinist, right? Oh wait, I think it might have been Paul. Or, maybe . . . Nebuchadnezzar with his "God of heaven" poems? Isaiah with his entire book about God's unthwarted purposes? Joseph with his "God meant it for good?" Moses? Abraham? Job? How about Enoch? He certainly had a big view of the sovereignty of God and especially irresistible grace. This might be a stretch, but I can hardly think of a (godly) Biblical character who wasn't a Calvinist. Maybe all of them will come back into style.

fresnel said...

What about Hobbs? Up or down?

The Jesting Fool said...

Very interesting trend going on here; thank you for pointing it out. However, there may be something else going on besides a shift in name popularity: Within the past couple months, every single one of my friends with Calvinism-unfriendly names (such as my good buddy Pelagius) spontaneously combusted. Could this be divine judgment that hearkens back to the days of burnings at the stake?

Darrin said...

very finney post!

Dave said...

Children should be allowed to reach the age of accountability and at that time make their own decision for or against a particular Christian name.