20 December, 2008

The Pastor's Salary, At The Minimum, Should Include

At Large, USA -- TBNN correspondents are currently at an undisclosed church location in the US trying to gather information concerning recent Bylaw changes regarding the pastor's salary.

Due to the large probability of increased rumor and gossip (and possibly increased panic) TBNN is not releasing the location or the names of those involved.

TBNN was able to verify the accuracy of a copy of an official motion from the deacons at a recent business meeting, regarding the pastor's 2009 salary package. The motion read:

  • The pastor's salary, at the minimum, should include medical insurance, retirement benefits, and $100 in yearly conference support.
Given that the business meeting followed a lengthy 3 hour Christmas Cantata practice, and given that a neighborhood Christmas parade was about to begin, the business meeting was short and this motion passed without discussion.

The trouble began a week later when the personnel committee attempted to come to a consensus on the interpretation of the salary motion. The personnel committee concluded that the motion instructed them to pay the pastor the minimum wage of $6.55 per hour based on a 40 hour work week. "The motion clearly states that the pastor's salary is to be at the minimum," explained one member of the committee. "I feel we were overly generous in giving him a straight salary based on 40 hours. If had a time clock in his office, he could never generate anything close to 40."

The committee also concluded that the motion instructed them to include insurance, benefits and conference expenses in the salary-- meaning those items were to be subtracted from the salary prior to the pastor receiving his payroll check. "The motion passed by the church body clearly says 'including,'" said another member of the personnel committee.

"This was not our intention at all," said a representative from the Deacon Board. "The personnel committee has a long history of refusing to provide any benefits for the pastor. They claim he should have faith for healing and use his own money for conference vacations. They've always laughed at the idea of setting aside funds for his retirement. 'His retirement package is already out of this world!' they claim."

The deacon chairman was incensed, "All we wanted to do was make sure that [the pastor] starts getting some other benefits besides salary. The personnel committee is made up of a bunch of Scrooges."

No matter which way it goes, the pastor appears to be pleased. "Regardless of the interpretation, I'm looking forward to my increased salary package in 2009."


Reformed Catholic said...

Having listened to the Scrooges on my church's Personnel Committee give mealymouthed reasons why they can't give the Pastor a raise to at least the minimums required by our Presbytery, this 'satire' is not that far-fetched !!

Jim Pemberton said...

I've known capable churches that wouldn't pay their pastor more than a pittance. I know churches that can't pay their pastor anything.

Until I got to the last line it almost seemed like a commentary on where different hermeneutics come from listening to the committee members parse the language of the motion.