29 November, 2008

Sunday Morning Worship Rescheduled To Begin "About The 4th Hour"

Jasper, MS—First Baptist Church of Jasper will no longer be under pressure to begin morning worship at 10 am as they have been attempting to do for the past 62 years. In a bold announcement on Friday, Pastor Harlan Richardson formally announced the change of the official start time of Sunday morning worship to “about the 4th hour.”

Pastor Richardson explains, “After years of attempting to start the worship service at 10 am, I am ending this manmade pressure.”

For those of you not familiar with early New Testament clockworks, “about the 4th hour” would refer to approximately the time between 10 am and 11 am, the fourth hour of the day. Note that the Jewish day began at 6am.

Pastor Richardson places a lot of emphasis on the word “about” in Scripture. Plenty of Biblical precedent exists for beginning church activities at “about” a certain hour. “I have a real peace that we are in keeping with scriptures in the New Testament to start about the 4th hour. Such declarations regarding non-rigid time schedules are made 6 times in Matthew, twice in Luke, 3 times in John, and 4 times in Acts.” Pastor Richardson explained.

“We might as well change the time,” said Betsy Bibbs . “We’ve never started at 10 anyways. I get here every Sunday by 9:55, and I usually have to wait 15 to 20 minutes before we hear the first announcement.”

“It’s those musician people,” said Krissy Withmore, 13. “Like, you know, they always are late or whatever.”

“This is bad,” said Dan Bradford shaking his head. “At least we used to try to be on time. Now, who knows what time we’ll really begin? Sometime between 10 and 11 to start? I have to have a better schedule than this. How am I supposed to make plans around “about the 4th hour”? This is ridiculous.”

In defense, Pastor Richardson reiterates that there is nothing sacred or even scriptural about meeting at a set time. “We know Lord Jesus ascended to Heaven after His resurrection as recorded in Matthew at a time between 10 am and noon on a Sunday morning because it is very clear that the disciples worshipped Him. But nowhere in the Scripture does it say the exact time of this worship.”

In any case, those of you wishing to attend FBC Jasper this Sunday morning should be prepared to begin about the 4th hour. What should you do to pass the time? Pastor Richardson suggests, “The church does have wireless internet. So, perhaps attendees could bring their laptops to use during the wait.”

4 comments:

Heather said...

This reminds me of a church I once attended. I would go to the saturday evening service, which they called the "5:59" ...

I went and I thought, "so basically, it's at 6:00 PM, right?"

But no. The service would ACTUALLY start at 5:59.

Don't ask me why. :P

Darrin said...

“It’s those musician people,” said Krissy Withmore, 13. “Like, you know, they always are late or whatever.”
Being a church musician who is often challenged by the clock, I got a kick out of that one.
My attempt to be more biblical lately has had me seeking to follow in the order of Melchizedek, and so I no longer recognize my parents.

Peren said...

“We know Lord Jesus ascended to Heaven after His resurrection as recorded in Matthew at a time between 10 am and noon on a Sunday morning because it is very clear that the disciples worshipped Him."

Ouch.

fresnel said...

about 4 whuh...?

I think these people are so waaaaay backward, it's like, oh wow man! I mean, like, that's what cell phones are for, you know? It's not like we live back in the 20th century or anything. If you want to know what time it is, like, duh! All you gotta do is whip out your cell phone and look, you know? What's with these people? They're like, on another planet? They can't find the inside of their own pockets? Too hard to give their Sanyo's a tug?

Simple solution: Make everyone get on the plan, you know? Just get 'em on AT&T or Verizon or whatever so all the minutes are free between each other. Then you just text 'em Sunday morning about 8:30 with like, "hey dudes, dudettes. Time to smell the coffee." Then just send a lil reminder ping about 20 minutes out.

And I say, 'hey, if they want to text each other during the sermon,' I say, 'hey, go for it!" I mean, what's the harm, right? Just look out over that see of bent heads all fabulously texting away and like really engaging the message and commenting to each other as it goes along... I mean, feel the energy, right? The min'ster says something way profound and what happens? All the heads go down, you follow? About 30 seconds later, vibrations start washing over the cong' and everybody, like, gets it together, you know what I'm saying? Awesome fellowship! Totally maxed sync up in all directions! We're talking awash engagement like nobody's business!

Go for it little church! You ain't never gonna be the same!!!