10 November, 2008

John 3:16 Conference Finally Proves that Calvinism is Unbiblical

ATLANTA, GA - The arguments have been made. The debate is finally settled. There is nothing left to discuss.

Calvinism is finished. The Doctrines of Grace have been de-bunked. Reformed theology is has once and for all time been banished to the trash bin of dead theologies.

On November 6-7, Jerry Vines ministries hosted the John 3:16 Conference. At this conference, which billed itself as "A biblical and theological assessment of and response to 5-point Calvinism," noted Southern Baptists took open shots at Calvinism.

Those in attendance were thrilled with the scholarship on display. For example, pastor Bubba Swift of Good Works Baptist Church, told TBNN, "Those speakers sure did a fine job. They just kept quotin' John 3:16 over and over again. No matter what objection was brought to them, they just kept sayin', 'Whosoever will...' It was awesome."

Pastor Wyatt Beasley said, "All I know is Jesus died for the whole world. That means everybody. When I got saved, I could just tell Jesus was cheerin' me on from heaven, just hopin' I'd give myself to Him. That's what I done."

Some of the more notable quotes to come out of the conference were the following:
"Humans are born with original sin but not original guilt."
"A move toward Calvinism is a move away from the gospel.”
"Repentance and faith precede regeneration."
"A 'hyper-Calvinist' is someone who is more Calvinistic than you are.”
"Romans 9-11 have nothing to do with eternal salvation."

The most amazing part of the conference was when one of the speakers reportedly said, "We're right. They're wrong. Who's wrong? A few guys named Augustine, Martin Luther, John Calvin, John Knox, John Owen, John Bunyan, Jonathan Edwards, George Whitefield, William Carey, Adoniram Judson, James Boyce, Arthur Pink, Martyn Lloyd-Jones, J. I. Packer, R. C. Sproul, John MacArthur, and especially John Piper."

It is worth noting that no one from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary was asked to speak at the conference.

Despite the fact that Dr. Vines said the gathering was not intended to be a "bashing Calvinism" conference, this is exactly what it turned out to be. While those who bothered to attend liked what was said, the broader spectrum of thought within the blog-world has been far less favorable. For some sane thought on this topic, click here and here.

When the conference concluded, there was much ovation and back-slapping. The speakers informed the press that now that Calvinism had been demolished for all time, they would aim their vast intellect at the most important issue facing Protestantism today: alcohol.

28 comments:

Tim Yerger said...

Well, I'm glad we have that one behind us. Now we can get on to better church growth strategies and leave that theology stuff in the classroom.

John S. said...

"...just hopin' I'd give myself to Him."

lol..that took me like three reads to get it.

John S. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lane Chaplin said...

The speakers informed the press that now that Calvinism had been demolished for all time, they would aim their vast intellect at the most important issue facing Protestantism today: alcohol.

Quote of the day. :)

Darrin said...

Thanks, Eric, for posting this.
"They just kept quotin' John 3:16 over and over again. No matter what objection was brought to them, they just kept sayin', 'Whosoever will...' It was awesome." Sadly, that's probably not far from the truth.
Whosoever will, may indeed, but they won't will, unless their will is first made willing. And that is not of themselves. How we desire that more fellow Baptists would not be so offended that it is all of grace.
Andrew listed an index of his posts from the conference at strangebaptistfire.wordpress.com

B Nettles said...

Is that quote with the list of "wrong guys," reality or satire? If it's real, whoever said it has a LOT of work to do...oh, I forgot. "Just trust me" is the mantra taught in pastoral education classes. That covers a multitude of bad theology.

I'm surprised the quote didn't go on to say "At least there are only 4 of these still living, and they're getting old, so we win!"

Russell Taylor said...

I'm not surprised that a pastor named Bubba from "Good Works" Baptist Church, would be a spokesman for this group.

Russell Taylor

Jeff said...

I am sure you will keep us informed as to the progress ont he issue of Alcohol.

If we can just get those two issues solved...

COME LORD JESUS!

Russell Taylor said...

I'll drink to that.

Russell Taylor said...

I heard Bubba's cousin Jethro pastors Lost and Found Baptist Church. They are all five pointers.

1. He loves me.
2. He loves me not.
3. He loves me.
4. He loves me not.
5. He loves me.

They use a Daisy instead of a Tulip.

Chris said...

Great post. However, the John 3:16 Conference will be nothing compared to PCC's 2 Peter 3:9 Conference. PCC has stamping out Calvinism down to three easy steps. Just finish your sermons on Calvinism with (1)"The Word of God has spoken" (Calvinism=heresy), (2)"You will not discuss Calvinism," and (3)if anyone still dares to disagree - kick them out. I can't wait to get to the 2 Peter 3:9 Conference, and this year, I am bringing my pastor (maybe, he can apply the three step process to our church).

Lee Shelton IV said...

The demise of Calvinism was foreordained. How could we not have seen it coming?

Darrin said...

You guys are all cracking me up. Thanks for the relief. I was a bit too serious above - I'll try to save that for the other blogs. Satire is effective - I'm just not very good at it. But I do enjoy reading your comments.

Jim Pemberton said...

Some people take Calvinix only when needed. Some people are addicted to it. Some people completely OD on it.

Me? I'm allergic to the stuff. My head swells up if I take it.

These guys at John 3:16 were eating the stuff like it was candy. I don't know how they do it.

HSI said...

jim wrote:

Me? I'm allergic to the stuff. My head swells up if I take it.

That's really interesting. I tried Calvinex one time with Coke and it didn't make my head swell up but it did make me burp.

Jason said...

Only foolish little boys Knocking over straw men...

pilgrim said...

How come you rarely hear John 3:17-21? It tells us more about what 3:16 means.

17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 19 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. 21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.

Russell Taylor said...

Calvinix makes me feel insecure.

December Sun Blog said...

Well, I suppose that Calvinism is unbiblical if you don't consider the book of Romans as part of the Biblical canon.

beowulf2k8 said...

A Hyper-Calvinist is a Calvinist who admits to believing what all Calvinists believe. A regular Calvinist is a Hyper-Calvinist trying to convince non-Calvinists by lies that he doesn’t believe what all Calvinists believe. All Calvinists believe that their god is the author of evil and that this god causes each and every sin that is committed then punishes the puppet for doing what he made it do, but that he also arbitrarily elected some puppets to escape punishment for what he made them do.

beowulf2k8 said...

"Well, I suppose that Calvinism is unbiblical if you don't consider the book of Romans as part of the Biblical canon." (December Sun Blog)

The only way you can think Calvinism is biblical is if you have been confused by the "ignorant and unstable" who Peter says "twist" Paul's epistles "to their own destruction." See this explanation of Romans 9 and be saved from the blasphemy of Calvinism.

Russell Taylor said...

Dear Beowulf2k8,

Thanks for the link to your post, but the request was for "sound" exegesis. You can get away with this in the blogging world where no one knows you, but I would lovingly encourage you not to offer this explanation in any public forum where people may be present who actually know how to interpret the Bible. Although, I'm sure your youth leader would keep the laughter from the other kids down to a minimum out of courtesy. Bless your heart.

Russell

Christ is Lord, God, and Savior said...
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Christ is Lord, God, and Savior said...

Typical. Someone comments and grounds exegesis in context and biblical theology, rather than Systematics, and he is insulted.

Again, not given counterpoints, but insulted. By no means do I endorse a couple of the statements he made (in particular the "blasphemy of Calvinism", yeesh), but your response was not only unchristian, but of no intellectual value as well.

I can't help but think of Danny Hays' article "Does Systematics Drive OT Exegesis, or Can God Still Change His Mind?" http://www.tren.com/e-docs/search_w_preview.cfm?pETS-5406

The divisiveness, caricatures, and intentional straw men (from both sides of the issue) destroy me every time I see them. That we, who claim to follow our same Lord, God, and Savior who prayed to the Father that we "would be one just as [he and the Father] are one" and then air such comments about the body of Christ for all to see is disgusting.

I'll probably regret even leaving this once I see the reaction building against me, but so be it. Here I stand; I can do no other. God help me.

Russell Taylor said...

I was not trying to insult him. I was trying to keep him from embarrassing himself in public. I was being loving and gracious. I even used the words "lovingly encourage". Doesn't that make me loving? My heart is bleeding. It's down right pumping blood. I would hate for someone to wait until they stand before God to find out that calling brothers in Christ "ignorant and unstable" is not the kind of "seasoning with salt" that was expected. When someone defines Calvinism as ridiculously erroneous as he does, then any one who has really had their bowels moved with mercy when reading his statements, would feel obligated to rescue him from his peers laughing at him. You know how insensitive youth can be.

Dan Barber said...

I love Calvinism and I believe that this goofy conference was ordained by God to expose just how poorly these folks translate the Bible.

thebuzz said...

Hi,
Its quite funny john 3:16 entered the Google chart of most popular searches. At new years day there was a carjacking and shooting and the man in question who did thisdrove a Ford Windstar and on the windshield of the car you could read “JOHN 3:16.”

Joshua Boyce said...

Man...I canNOT believe I was one of these guys.