28 July, 2008

Todd Bentley Study Bible Set for Release

Lakeland, Fl - Charismatic and controversial evangelist Todd Bentley announced on Sunday the up-and-coming release of the Todd Bentley Shaka-Laka-Bam Fresh Fire Kick You in the Face Lakeland Revival Study Bible. For months since the beginning of the so-called "revival" led by Bentley in Lakeland many have criticized his methods and message as being unbiblical. But with the release of the TBSLBFFKYFLRSB, Bentley promises that everything will be made clear.

"There are so many out there who are criticizing my work here, which is the work of God of course," said Bentley. "They point to passages here and there, and they totally forget the fact that God talks to me directly, therefore I get extra stuff that's not in the regular Bible, and people should just accept that what I say is true and from God. So what I've done here is put together my own version of the Bible with my own writings, therefore we can say that what we're doing down here is 'Biblical' and no one can question it."

TBNN was able to obtain a copy of the TBSLBFFKYFLRSB. One verse includes Bentley's own version of the "Great Commission."

"Behold, all authority is given to you in heaven and on earth, go therefore into all the world and beat the living snot out of people in my name, kicking old ladies in the face, tackling Filipinos until their teeth pop out, and kneeing people in the stomach, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Shaka-laka-bam!" - The Gospel According to Bentley 23:4

The TBSLBFFKYFLRSB is expected to go on sale by the end of the week during Bentley's "revival" meetings for $149.95. Each paperback copy will supposedly "heal any sickness or disease."

9 comments:

Darrin said...

One verse about this man, probably not in his new version:
Psalm 58:6

threegirldad said...

Not to mention Jeremiah 14:14...

Dave Miller said...

This is my new favorite blog site.

Jonathan said...

!!!

Tominthebox in finest form! I'm going to make a banner of the 'great commission' for my back wall!

...no, just kidding...

...maybe...

Keep it up!

Jonathan
www.soundadvicetraining.com
Church Sound Training DVD's

Mesa Mike said...

Heard this post read on Way of the Master radio yesterday. It was hilarious.

Andrew said...

I actually heard Todd say it was called the "Todd BAM Bentley Shaka-Laka-Bam BAM Fresh Fire BAM Kick You in the Face BAM Lakeland BAM BAM Revival Study BAM Bible"

Brother Tom said...

I am ashamed of all of you. Imps have rights too. It's right there in print! shemikiehwoooshamidialiakhaiah. OK?

SheepTrax said...

Does Todd, and TV evangelists in greral, get headaches? If so, do they slap themselves in the head for healing thus continuing the headache cycle?

Curious. Wait, Emma is here and - unholy crap - she has horns!

Off to the prayer closet.

Bryan
www.SheepTrax.com

matthewdjb said...

Back in 2005, you could buy the Todd Bentley Signature Bible. There were only 1000 copies made, so perhaps they've all sold out now.

http://www.injesus.com/index.php?module=message&task=view&MID=WB0071XH&GroupID=VB006FHZ&label=&paging=all