05 July, 2008

Man Sues Pastor for Pain, Suffering, and Lost Time

Walter Stetson spent nearly 25 years in prison. Well not in an actual prison, but in a prison of sorts. Stetson was baptized by Pastor Jonathan MacPiper after walking the aisle in June of 1981 as a 15 year old. After dedicating his life to Jesus, He was told he could not willfully partake in earthly sins. "I worked hard at this. I was really good all through high school and all through my 20s and 30s."

Stetson stands to win just over $2,000,000, or about $10 per hour that he spent in prison-- if he prevails this week. The following statements are taken from Stetson vs. MacPiper:

After discovering last year that I was lost all along, I decided to become really saved the third Sunday in January of 2008 after a very moving sermon on abortion. A week or two later when I was striving to be good during a bachelor party at my friend’s house, it dawned on me just how many activities I had unnecessarily missed during the prime years of my life.

For two and a half decades, I could have had the pleasure and be forgiven now too… now that I’m really saved. For the last few months I continually get these sick feelings in the pit of my stomach. I can’t stop thinking of all the pain and suffering I went through during all those “goodie two shoes” years.

Now that I am truly saved, I’ve forever lost my opportunity to participate in many blatantly sinful acts. I know I don’t want to participate in those activities. But that’s not the point. The lawsuit just involves one issue… the previously lost earthly pleasure. It’s gone forever.

I was trying to live like a Christian, but I realize now that I wasn't one. I was deceived by Pastor MacPiper. I withheld from all sorts of evil unnecessarily. I missed out on alcohol fellowships, dancing, cursing, and lusting. I withheld all the time, had depression, weight loss, and acid reflux. Once my intestines became inflamed from not partaking in alcohol-based wine.

I will never be able to get those years back. Now that I’m really saved, those activities are lost forever. I know there is grace and all that, but I don’t really want to take advantage of that now. How would that look? It’s depressing.
All those years, I saw so many of my friends enjoying their nights out and their women with short hair, while I remained single. Now they are married and settled down with children. I followed Pastor MacPiper’s advice that “bodily exercise profiteth little.” I never met any women and now that I’m 45, bald, and husky, the only women available to me are the ones who look like me.

I could have sowed my wild oats, but instead, I was reading all about my purpose driven life and trying to become a better me. I am nauseous now just thinking about it.


Andrew said...

"Pastor Jonathan MacPiper"?

Sounds like John Piper and John MacArthur smashed together... Love it!

Jonathan said...

"...now that I’m 45, bald, and husky, the only women available to me are the ones who look like me."

I almost spit coffee on my computer... I wonder if I could have sued for that...

Keep it up!


Penn Tomassetti said...

good point on the Christian Hedonism doctrine. Christ is worth it! Christ is "far better!"

Actually this post made me sad that people would actually try to live the Christian life without the power behind it :(

Send them to MacPiper... I mean to Piper :)

Darrin said...

"the previously lost earthly pleasure. It’s gone forever"
Thing is, it's gone forever even if enjoyed. Should be humbled by God's protective and preparatory grace and experience no regret of earthly enjoyments. I realize we all know this, but this post can be an exhortation to live for eternal things alone.

BravoDWH said...

Those "goodie two shoes" years. I'm still laughing. I wish I could trade years with him. Great one Dr. Bro.