09 June, 2008

Pat Robertson Declared Obama Running Mate

In a surprise move to many, Pat Robertson announced today that God has declared him to be Barak Obama’s running mate. “I’m as surprised as anyone,” commented Robertson. The prompting followed an extended fast of four days in which God reportedly showed the widely known television evangelist that Hillary Clinton would soon drop out of the running. “I have been very concerned for this great land of ours,” said Robertson. “In watching the democratic race going on in South Dakota and Montana, I guess I saw enough on TV that it percolated down into wherever it is that visions come from. God must have seen I was finally ready to hear from Him. I certainly wouldn’t have thought this up by myself.”

Robertson last ran for president of the United States in 1988, when he was soundly defeated for office. He returned to the Christian Broadcasting Network. When asked what response he expected from his announcement on Tuesday’s broadcast of The 700 Club, he replied, “Well, I’m sure there are millions of true believers out there who are anxious to see an evangelical candidate reach higher office. Already, we have money pouring in from God’s people, who apparently are hearing the same message from God that I am.”

Obama’s campaign headquarters has not officially replied to this development, but reportedly, the spokesman that TBNN’s Dr. Bill reached was heard to call out whether anyone in the office knew about Robertson’s decision to become Barak Obama’s Vice President. “There was this um, pause, and then sort of a roar went up that I couldn’t interpret either way,” he said. “I’m not sure but I don’t think this is absolutely a done deal.”

James Dobson’s organization did immediately reply to our calls. Spokesperson Sarah Lineberry told us that, “Dr. Dobson is whole-heartedly in favor of this exciting news.” He is encouraging all five of his democratic friends to spread the word that an Obama victory is a victory for the Gospel.”

Several other evangelicals have already taken up that banner of support for Robertson. “Who knows?” said Jeffery Somers, Prison Fellowship Ministries director for the Southwestern states. “Maybe God has spoken to Pat as a way to get democrats to think about what an Obama victory will mean to us all. I sure hope Obama goes along with this amazing offer. It’s sure to make a huge difference this coming November!”

2 comments:

Darrin said...

Disappointing developments. My heart was set on a Hillary/Creflo ticket.

AspiringTheologian said...

I really think Obama/Osteen would be a better ticket - they seem to have similar messages.