12 June, 2008

Hinn Granted First HWPG Sainthood

In an exclusive report, TBNN has learned that Benny Hinn has been recently granted the first official "sainthood" by Health, Wealth and Prosperity Gospel leaders. TBNN learned that a group of HWPG pastors, which included big names like Creflo Dollar, Leroy Thompson, Joel Osteen and Kenneth Copeland, met in Atlanta, Georgia last week to discuss the prospect of "sainthood" for those who had contributed much to the HWPG cause. During the meeting the group discussed possible choices for the first ever "sainthood" amongst HWPG advocates. Over the course of the meetings Hinn's name repeatedly came up.

"Yeah, I thought I would have been a good choice myself, but I didn't want to bring it up," said Creflo Dollar. "And because no one else at the meeting wanted to nominate me, I sure enough wasn't going to nominate one of them. But Benny wasn't there so I threw out his name. That man's made it. He ain't no broke preacher. He's got some pie baby, and that's the truth!"

After several hours of consideration the group unanimously chose Hinn to be canonized as "Saint Hinn, the Rich." According to participants at the council, a number of factors contributed to Hinn being chosen.

"Well, the man has healed many," said Kenneth Copeland. "And his ministry is worldwide, plus he's got that cute little accent which really adds a sort of cultural flair to the whole deal. Overall though, we looked primarily at his bank account and his possessions. That man's got a lot of stuff and that's proof he's got a lot of faith."

The council plans to meet annually to choose a new "saint" each year. Hinn was unavailable for comment.

5 comments:

Caron said...

Check out: www.justinpeters.org and click on "demo." :)

Paul Wilkinson said...

Since one has to have passed on to have sainthood conferred on them, this can only mean I missed an earlier story explaining that the Benny we see on television is actually an automaton. I knew all that stuff on 'Futurama' would be possible some day, and here it is!

Chris said...

Bwhahahahahaha, beautiful.

Jonathan said...

...Chris, you stole my evil laughter...

Sicarii said...

Great job! Had me rolling in laughter. ;)