April 3, 2047 - New York, Ny - Many of the members of Southpoint Follower of Jesus Assembly are still in a state of shock and confusion over Sunday's sermon by pastor Richie Hermon. Many are wondering if Hermon, who has been the pastor of SJFA for almost 20 years now, has lost his touch with reality. According to worship participants the service was going fine until Hermon got up to "preach."
"Everything was going along just fine, like it usually does" said member Patrica Kline. "The multimedia worship was wonderful and uplifting. Michael the youth pastor flew in to the service and impressed us with a holographic display. Someone sang a wonderful solo of Your Best Life Now and one of our ladies offered an interpretive dance to the story of the rich man and Lazarus. That was all well and good, but then Richie stood up to 'preach' and everything just went nuts."
As it turns out Hermon decided to stand up when he preached rather than reclining on a couch. This immediately made many people feel imposed upon and uncomfortable. The next thing Hermon did that was so shocking was that he actually had a copy of a Bible with him, opening it and reading from it which people also found dogmatic, close-minded and judgmental. After than he then proceeded to read passages from the Bible, commenting on sections of scripture and making application.
"It was the most bizarre spectacle I've ever seen" said Martin Roberts, a member of SFJA. "We all just sat in our seats shocked and dismayed at what was going on. Richie was up there reading from this book and telling people how to live. He was saying things like 'Only in Christ can we be saved' and 'Our words and deeds reflect what's in our hearts.' We just all felt so judged and looked down upon. I even spilled my beer!"
After the service many threatened to leave. Hermon was unavailable for comment.