GRAND RAPIDS, MI - First, there was "Build-A-Bear." Then, there was "Build-A-Bible" (click here to remember that one). Now, there is "Build-Your-Own-Belief-System."
Zondervan has announced the huge success of its most recent product: The Build-Your-Own-Belief-System Handbook. Ms. Peggy Shoeman, representing Zondervan, told TBNN, "Over this past four months, the sales of our new handbook surpassed all of our expectations. In fact, only The Message has sold better."
The handbook jacket gives a brief description, saying, "Are you struggling to know what to believe? Do you sense that there is something spiritual about the universe, but don't know where to turn? Have you not yet determined what god exists or how he should relate to you? If you need help, this book has the answers for you.
"This handbook provides helpful pictures (shown here) that illustrate for the reader the relationships of the various world religions to god. Since all religions work together and essentially mean the same thing, this frees the reader up to construct what he wants to believe. In that sense, reading this book is a very liberating experience."
The first few chapters of Zondervan's new masterpiece walk the reader through current belief systems, showing how they really don't have any significant differences. Then, the reader is challenged to journey through 10 simple steps that lead to a new belief system. The steps are as follows:
1. Rid your mind of all previous thoughts.
2. Reject all previous dogmatic religious ideas.
3. Watch an episode of Oprah.
4. Analyze how you feel.
5. Determine what you want.
6. Take a hard look at your felt-needs.
7. Pull what you need from different world religions.
8. Be creative.
9. Construct a belief system that meets your needs.
Billy Dunn, student at Grand Rapids Tech., told us, "Before I read this book, I was very confused about God. I felt guilty and troubled much of the time. I knew something wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it. But now, after reading this book, I've learned how to build what I believe. After much study and meditation, I've come to the conclusion that Martians actually dropped off my family on earth about three centuries ago. Therefore, I'm a god. Now I no longer have guilt!"