"That fly on the ceiling, he's my uncle."
"So what you're saying, Mr. Lama, is that there's only one path to eternal life? Well, shoot - looks like we got them Buddhists all wrong, after all. Turns out the Middle Way is the One Way!"
HA! Made you look!
So just how big of a hitter are you, Mr. Lama?Caddyshack Clip
"Turn, turn from sin and doubting;look up to the sky.Climb, climb up Sunshine Mountain,You and I!"
...where is Thumbkin? ...where is Thumbkin?
"That cloud? No...I think that cloud looks much more like a butterfly than a weapon of mass destruction."
Buddhist: Right there is the hole in the ozone, you can see it clear as day.Bush: I don't see anything, are you sure?Buddhist: Oh wait...that's a smudge on my glasses.
Lama: Even though I'm here standing next to you, my soul is flying around up there. Can you see it?Bush: Yep. Looks just like a good sized waterfowl. Where's my shotgun?
"See that Mr. President? That is a pig flying!"" Really,well shucks, I guess Calvinism is true after all."
Lama: " Is your God is above us, doing all that He can to save mankind?"Bush: "Well, I side with Jerry Boyce. God can't save no one who won't let 'em, even though He apparently really, really, wants to."Lama: "I thought your God was sovereign over His creation?"Bush: "Nope. Man is sovereign in salvation, not God. God just slaughtered His Son in hopes that men will be spiritual enough to come to the light, but God won't actually get involved in man's decision-making."Lama: "Doesn't seem like your God is very successful in saving men. Aren't all men evil and not seekers of God?"Bush: "I already told ya- God ain't got nothing to do with it. It's about the man's choice, not God's."Lama: "So your God isn't in control?"Bush: "Nope. We are. I'm just glad I was smart enough to see the light, unlike most others. I don't care what the Bible teaches about spiritual blindness and that fact that there are none good, none righteous, and not seek God. I saw the light, plain and simple!"Lama: "You mean in reference to how you believe the words of Christ more than other men did?"Bush: "Yep. I was more enlightened, or something. I guess. Had to be."Lama: "So...how does John 10:26 factor into your ability to believe? Doesn't that verse indicate that non-sheep simply will not believe? By your theology, you read the verse as 'you are not my sheep, because you believe not', but your Jesus actually says 'you believe not, BECAUSE you are NOT my sheep'.Therefore, the sheep for whom Jesus died WILL believe, because they are in fact sheep."Bush: "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH I CAN'T HEAR YOU I CAN'T HEAR YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!"
Wonderful satire, Richard! You even have the Lama seeking about God. Priceless!!
As always, you ignore the argument and refuse to address valid points. Too bad you can't grab the last word here and disable comments....like you do on your blog.:-)
Commenting Rules1. Please try to stay on topic. For example, if the story is a satire about televangelists, don't make a comment complaining about Calvinism.This is not the place to whine about other blogs. I would prefer to follow the rules and submit to the authority of anyone's blog I am a visitor on.Joe, thanks a million. There is a radio station where the dj has a clip he always plays where a guy says "Lama!!" Now I know where he got it from.
Nice dodge (again), but for the record....Calvinism was nowhere in this post until you came along, taking yet another jab at reformed theology. However, when someone stands up for it, you play the "stay on topic" card? Classic.:-)Oh, by the way...there was no topic for this post. Therefore, neither of us are broaching the rules (Tom, correct me if I'm wrong). So...feel free to actually address the issues whenever you want. I think we'd probably provide more entertainment that way than we would trying to come up with a funny caption.
Lama : What are you looking at? Bush: At whatever you were pointing at.Lama : I was rubbing my nose.
I believe the title was " You Write the Satire" I wrote satire, as did 11 other people at this time. No one else brought up reality until you brought up something that had nothing to do with making up satire, thus straying off topic. Unless what you wrote was satire!! Brillant! HAHAHA you had me going there for a while you big joker. Whew... I tell you, what a way to slip in satire under the radar. Dr. Tom, you need to get with Richard and let him teach you something. Not that- you know- yours is lacking or anything, but this guy has it together.What a day of laughter and fun. These write your own satire deals are great. Plus they give the guys at TBNN a break.I wonder if anyone noticed how d.r.brooker set the stage for short one or two line stories. In the past the satire basically had chapter divisions, yet this time it was short little laugh snacks. Marvelous. Simple marvelous. I can't wait until the next one.NOTE: Some statements, such as the one about d.r.booker (although not limited to that one only) are not satire. Yet, they directly dealt with either making it up, or it was satire. I hope I have not fallen prey to the very thing I have accused Satire King Richard, mainly bringing up something that has nothing to do with this post or any post TBNN has posted. However, in the event I have, let's just consider it satire and be merry. Peace. Thank you once again TBNN for allowing me to get satirerized. I will leave and let others satire away."Lama"
Dear Boyce Brothers,Please check your family feud at the door.-Tom
It's like the Hatfields and the McCoys, except they're both Hatfields...or both McCoys.Praise God that you're both believers, guys: many families should be so blessed that the worst disagreement between you is a theological one, and not a more fundamental one of belief versus non-belief!
Tom- Will do, sir. Stefan, you said "Praise God that you're both believers". Jerry, on the other hand, seems to believe that my God and his God aren't the same God, so I think he'd probably argue with your statement. Says he: "Calvinism's God desires the damnation of billions. He desires evil above good. My God has offered salvation, and mankind has damned himself.” --- From http://www.anti-calvinism.blogspot.com
Do you ever count the number of holes in the ceiling tiles during your church services?
"You said those three clouds look like the Buddha, the Ghandi and the prophet.. I was gonna say they look like a teddy bear, a elephant and a hippotomus.. but now I won't"
It was made public today that Bush has been a practicing Buddhist when his Lama discovered that the oval office was bugged.This revelation has been met with silence from Americans United for Separation of Church and State. Ever critics of President Bush's supposed associations among evangelicals, the news has apparently left them wondering about the implications of the first Buddhist president.Christian leaders, however, have been quick to make statements. Most agree that it changes nothing about the policies he has made. James Dobson of Focus on the Family observes that it explains a lot regarding his more controversial positions. Dr. Albert Mohler of the Baptist Southern Theological Seminary noted that there has not been a President who has been overtly faithful to Christ for most of the history of the United States and that Christians should not place their faith in the US government anyway. Bishop Spong, on the other hand, welcomed this revelation as "a breath of fresh air." Brian MacLaren said he hoped that all people could learn to be honest about whatever truth anyone hoped to find.
Lama: You say heaven is up there??Bush: Well, yeah..sort of...Lama: What chance do you think a Buddhist has of going to heaven?Bush: About as much as me doing something about the freedom of the Tibetans....
Perhaps you ought to provide another "You write the satire" opportunity to satirise what's happening in the comments on this one.
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