06 March, 2008

Russian Election Declared To Be Both "The Will Of God" and "Biblical"

TBNN welcomes to our team of fairly unbalanced reporters Dr. Bill. Dr. Bill comes to us with a long list of credentials that we won't list here. Just trust us.

Moscow, Russia - The recent landslide election of Dmitry Medvedev was declared to be the "the will of God" and "entirely biblical" by Alexei the Second, Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church. The Patriarch made his pronouncement during a press conference where he praised Medvedev and pledged support of the ROC's resources to bolster his presidency.

The Russian Orthodox Church has increasingly gained prominence in recent years, taking every opportunity to portray Russian Orthodoxy in partnership with Russian political power. Vladimir Putin, Russia's current president has encouraged this linkage by reciprocating in kind, softening his former-KGB image by proclaiming himself to be a "true Russian Orthodox believer" and vowing to push the ROC's agenda to regain power even as the ROC supports Kremlin control.

The fact that Medvedev was the only candidate given free access to the press, unhindered from campaigning and never jailed throughout the campaign season was down played by Kremlin spokesmen. It was clear from the beginning that only one candidate would seriously be presented to the Russian public for this vote. The Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE) boycotted the election in protest of the one-sided measures taken by President Putin's team to ensure Medvedev's success.

Calvinists across Russia ruefully found themselves in agreement with Patriarch Alexei. "It certainly does appear that God's will has been done," commented Carl Maxim, a Baptist missionary serving in Archangel, Russia. "Whenever something happens, looking back, we must accept historical fact as the voice of God, at least in a passive will sense."

Russian Baptists throughout Russia were, however, quick to challenge the Patriarch's claim that the election was "biblical". Nickoli Nickoliavich, pastor of a small congregation of Russian Baptists in Omsk complained, "The election was entirely Russian, but not entirely biblical."

Countered Patriarch Alexei, "But the election was biblical. The same thing happened when God brought Eve to Adam and said, 'Go ahead, choose your wife.'"


Peter Kirk said...

The election was neither free nor fair, so it is not surprising that Calvinists endorsed it.

Elder Eric said...

Dr. Bill,

Welcome to the TBNN team! I look forward to reading your news.


Richard Boyce said...

It's not fair, it's not fair!

Boo hoo hoo?

Wasn't fair for God to slaughter His Son in place of my sorry self, either.

As an endorser of a unlimited atonement, do you think it fair that Christ suffered for men that went to Hell thousands of years prior to the birth of Christ?

See....no one plays the fairness card until it works to their advantage.

Darrin said...

I like your style.

Jeff said...

(typed in a hushed whisper)Ummm, It just so happens aht I have some information regarding this Dr Bill and his aleged ties to serious journalism.... it may weigh heavy on you to know that not everything he ever thinks is satirical...

"I'm just saying..."

welcome... TBNN is a daily read for me to loose some of the pastoral pressure -

Jerry Boyce said...

I think we have all been around the block enough times to know life is not fair. The physical suffering that Christ endured would have been the same regardless of the "amount" of people he died for. If you really want to talk about fairness, though, here is food for thought.
God elected certain ones for salvation. Those He did not elect were doomed to hell. Yet God still pleads for all men to repent. The gospel is still "offered" to all mankind. The OT prophets were sent to warn the wicked to turn from their ways, yet according to Calvinism, they could not unless God first turned their will. He pleaded with those that, according to Calvinism, He did not elect in the first place. I could go on, but I think we get the point. Either way, we cannot select a system based on fairness. We select belief systems based on "thus saith the Lord".

G. Twilley said...

Dr. Bill looks unnervingly similar to Vladimir Putin.

Richard Boyce said...

So God is not fair in that He allows men to of their free will continue to reject His call to repent?

God expected the Law to be kept, too. Was that unfair in light of our total inability to be perfect? It didn't stop Him from demanding it.

Salvation is offered to all that repent and believe the good news. No one of their own natural accord would ever desire this. Thus, God grants a new desire to some while letting the rest have their deserved reward. I'm just not sure where your claims of unfairness come into play. Could you be more specific?

Anam Cara said...

The recent landslide election of Dmitry Medvedev was declared to be the "the will of God" and "entirely biblical" by Alexei the Second, Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Well, I can see how he got that. So why is this satire - or did someone at TBNN forget to read this verse..... (anyway you translate it, it seems it was the will of God.)

Obey the government, for God is the one who put it there. All governments have been placed in power by God. Romans 13:1 NLT

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Rom 13:1 KJV

Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Rom 13:1 NKJV

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Rom 13: 1 NIV

Everyone must submit to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those that exist are instituted by God. Rom 13:1 HCSB

Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Rom 13:1 NASB

LET EVERY person be loyally subject to the governing (civil) authorities. For there is no authority except from God [by His permission, His sanction], and those that exist do so by God's appointment. Rom 13:1 Amplified

πασα ψυχη εξουσιαις υπερεχουσαις υποτασσεσθω ου γαρ εστιν εξουσια ει μη απο θεου αι δε ουσαι εξουσιαι υπο του θεου τεταγμεναι εισιν Rom 13:1 Stephanus NT 1550

Jerry Boyce said...

fair- according to Webster- means free from bias.

Syns. include impartial, unprejudied- both of which, according to Webster, implies the treating of all sides alike.

As I said earlier, life is not fair, and we cannot select systems based on fairness. I don't expect any Calvinist to admit the plain truth about the "fairness" of their theory.

Is it "fair", based on the very definition of the word when the following "takes place":
God pleads with man to repent, but only allows certain ones the ability to do so. Is that impartial?

Judgement Day-------" But Lord, I know you commanded me to repent, but I could not, according to Calvin."

We could go all day about what is fair and who's system has the most, or less, fairness.

You said God expected the Law to be kept. Did God really want the Law to be kept? Answer carefully.

Darrin said...

God maintains the right to command the impossible. A few more examples: "Prophecy to these (dead) bones, and say to them, 'O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!'" (Ezek. 37:4)
He came and touched the open coffin...and He said, 'Young man, I say to you, arise.'" (Luke 7:14)
"Your daughter is dead...He...took her by the hand and called saying, 'Little girl, arise.' (Luke 8:49-55)
"Lazarus, come forth!" (John. 11:43)
In each case God's regeneration was required first in order for the subject to respond to His word.
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Jerry Boyce said...

Great examples of physical death. If you could not find an example of spiritual death, here is one- Eph. 5:14. I would love to see what responses are out there about this verse.

Team Tominthebox News Network said...


I fail to see your point. Bill's article was not necessarily contradicting the fact that Medvedev is in power by God's will. If you read the article again you will see the reason WHY Alexey claimed it was Biblical (see the last line.)

But all's well though. I'm sure typing all of those verses out one by one in an effort to persuade us about something we already believe in was good for your soul.


Team Tominthebox News Network said...

I'm thinking about imposing a rule for one week that all Calvinism debates in the comments must be done in Russian (No using online translators either).


Jerry Boyce said...

Но Брат Том, как Вы знали бы, обманываем ли мы?

Jerry Boyce said...

Nevermind- I answered my own question. That would be interesting though.

Anam Cara said...

The same thing happened when God brought Eve to Adam and said, 'Go ahead, choose your wife.'"

Wait. You mean that part is real? I thought that was the made up part!

Also, confession time. I didn't type - I cut and paste.

CristyLynn said...

I don't usually comment here, though I read every day the stories that are posted. I enjoy reading other people's comments, too. One thing that I've found interesting on this site and other sites like it is the types of questions that are asked in the comment section.

I think it's interesting that it seems like all of us ask the questions that we do because we think we already know the answer. Sure, we're curious probably about the response that we'll get, but we're already pretty impressed with our own answer to the questions that we ask on "forums" like this one.

I wonder what would happen if we asked questions that we don't already think we know the answers to? But maybe that's for somewhere else...

Brother Slawson said...


That was actually quite brilliant!

You were somehow able to ask a question that you already knew the answer to... by questioning the very question you were questioning in your question.

CristyLynn said...

Well, Brother Slawson,

I didn't realize how clever I could be. :) I was hoping that it would be clear that I acknowledge that I find myself doing the same thing. It often feels safer somehow or I feel smarter or something when I pose certain types of questions. That is why I do it, I think. I don't know why other people do it, or even if they are doing the same thing.

And if that's not clear, I'm sure you'll let me know. :)