15 March, 2008

Remember the Moment Stopwatch $12.95


"If you cannot remember the exact moment you were saved, then you are NOT saved," -- Pastor William McDonald of Simpson, Tennessee.

"When you question your salvation, remember to trust that exact moment when you raised your hand," -- Pastor Douglas Krenshaw of Jimton, Alabama.

"Do you remember the time when you prayed the prayer? No? Then you wasted your breath." -- Pastor Rocky Gibbons of Wichita, Georgia.




Dear Friend,

Please take the following quiz regarding the time you were saved:
1. Write your approximate age (when you were saved) here:
2. Write the year here:
3. Write the month here:
4. Write the day of the month here:
5. Write the hour here:
6. Write the minute here:
7. Write the second here:

If you were unable to completely and accurately answer all questions, my dear friend, then you must acknowledge that you do not remember the moment of your salvation. We do not wish to cause you panic, dear friend. But please read the pastor's quotes above once again and think about the implications.

Has the wisdom of these pastors stirred your heart? Have you failed to remember the exact time of your salvation? Do you lack faith in your memory?

If the answer to these three questions is "yes yes yes" then please consider purchasing a Remember the Moment Stopwatch for the moment that you really get saved.

For this very important moment in your life, why not trust your salvation memories to Remember the Moment? All Remember the Moment Stopwatches are tested and retested so you will never fail to know the exact moment again.

With 7 different pre-programmed modes, you can precisely capture up to 7 different moment times. Here's how it works:
* Have your finger ready on the 1st button. When your foot touches the aisle, simply press the button.
* When the pastor touches your shoulder, press the button again.
* When you begin to pray the simple prayer, hit the button upon your first utterance of the word "Lord."
* Do the same at the very end of the prayer when you say "Amen."
* Since the Remember the Moment Stopwatch is waterproof, take it to your baptism and press the blue button as soon as you re-emerge.
* Finally, have the watch ready in case you ever pray any unknown words.
* The seventh mode is for any other exact time you would like to remember.

Why 7 different moments? Don't let the potential for a future change in theology spoil the moment. Consider the testimony of Ralph Lendleton, "When I attended the Baptist Church, I used to think the moment of salvation was the exact time I stepped into the aisle. After my conversion to the Church of Christ, I was so glad I had used the Remember the Moment Stopwatch during my Baptist Church baptism."

Even if you remember your moment, make sure to get one for the kids and grandkids before they make that big step. Be prepared the first time to reduce the chances of a future repeat when the moment is forgotten. Consider purchasing a Remember the Moment Stopwatch and placing it in your kid's hand before they leave for camp, before VBS week, before the annual evangelistic Sunday School, before chapel at the private school, and before the pastor and the rest of the EE team arrive on Monday nights.

The Remember the Moment Stopwatch can actually go beyond the moment and time your salvation to the nearest 100th of a second (set the watch to "twinkling of an eye" mode).

You don't want them to forget the moment. Get your Remember the Moment Stopwatch today!

15 comments:

CristyLynn said...

Brother Slawson,

I can't decide if I like this one or the Coddle Cootie more! I laughed really hard at this one, too. Good job!

Jerry Boyce said...

As long as they don't go getting different versions of this new fangled gadget, I guess it is O.K.

Pastor Dan said...

Man, my whole eternal security just flew out the window as I took the quiz! Now I must go and "get saved" again...imagine the turmoil it will cause in my church when the Associate Pastor walks down the aisle. (RtM Stopwatch in hand of course)

Amanda said...

One of these days I'm going to wise up and STOP reading TBNN while eating breakfast and drinking my morning coffee! I almost did some serious damage to my laptop a sentence into this post! Classic.

G-Team 2008 said...

What happens if I was saved on Daylight Saving Time? Do I have to start over? And is there a preferred time zone, maybe GMT-only? I really want to get it right this time!

Stefan said...

Brilliant!

Darrin said...

I'd personally like a better breakdown. Could we possibly get features that allow you to capture the differing moments when you are washed by the blood of Christ, then born again, then sanctified, then redeemed, then baptized by the Holy Spirit, then regenerated? If I don't know when these things happened, can I truly be assured of them?

Have fun and stay busy - Luke 19:13

-The Orange Mailman

Jim Pemberton said...

I spent several years in a covenant tradition that sprinkled infants with water and called it "baptism". I found it somewhat humorous that the pastor would encourage congregants by admonishing them to remember their baptism. Something like this could be used by parents in such traditions to record their infant children's important moments and give it to them when they get older so they can say that they remember their baptism, first communion, confirmation, etc.

pilgrim said...

Actually I encountered a person who insisted this before I was saved. I was wrong in my thinking at the time too, as I thought I was okay because I believed in God & Jesus & I thought I was a good person--but I didn't know the gospel--I didn't trust in Christ--so I couldn't tell him a day or an hour--and when I later did get saved in time & space--a part of me was hesitant to remember that moment. And actually I'm still not sure the exact time & place--it was a process God used over time.

Lee Shelton IV said...

This is great! Because if you can't remember the exact moment you were saved...well, let's just say that the difference between heaven and hell could be just a hundredth of a second.

Jim Pemberton said...

My heart goes out to all those who lose their salvation because of Alzheimer's or some other condition that causes them to forget.

It makes me wonder what we should do with time zones. I mean, do we remember the time in the time zone we were in at the time or the time of whatever time zone we happen to be in now. And what about DST? Does that watch have a world clock on it? I'm getting real concerned that no one is going to be able to get into heaven because we can't pin down anyone's precise time.

In another vein, this is something that could be added to the "24 Hour Baptism" Ministry. Get an emergency baptism and a free "Remember the Moment Stopwatch" with the moment of Baptism already recorded.

AspiringTheologian said...

I was saved 2000 years ago when Jesus Christ died and rose again.

Darrin said...

I guess there's another Darrin.
Anyway, good post, Bro Slawson.

Ken said...

But what if I have to get saved again? Is there an Armenian edition?

Brother Slawson said...

Thanks you all for taking time to post comments. I appreciate knowing what thoughts are stirred as you read the post. After seeing all the comments, I almost wish we had a way to collude when I write to posts... good stuff you have!

Seriously, I think most of us would agree... there is a moment in time where we are justified.

I wanted mainly to pick on the idea that we must remember that exact moment. Seemingly, some rely on the memory of that moment for salvation more than on the Lord Jesus.

May we be led by the Spirit today,

C