09 February, 2008

Brochure: Ripping Clothes is Scriptural

Welcome to Full Worship

Please allow me to welcome you to Bedazzled Community Church. More than anything, we want you to feel comfortable and free to worship in your own way. While worshipping with us at Bedazzled, feel free to sing, lift your hands, dance, and rip your clothes.

Why We Sing

The Bible mentions "singing" 20 times (NIV). It is scriptural to sing. Very few people have ever complained that we have a song portion of our worship. Singing was very commonly mentioned in the Old Testament. In the New Testament, it's referenced most in The Revelation. We're going to be singing in Heaven so you might as well practice now.

Why We Lift Our Hands

Not coincidentally, the Bible also mentions the lifting of hands 20 times (NIV) proving that the lifting of hands is equally important as singing. Some of our more traditional brothers and sisters that exclusively use the King James Version of the Bible do not understand the importance of hand-lifting. This is understandable, given that the KJV mentions "singing" 25 times, while only mentioning the lifting of hands 13 times. At Bedazzled, we believe time spent singing and lifting hands must be equal. Feel free to worship with your hands lifted in the position of your choosing.

Why We Dance

David danced before the Lord (2 Samuel 6:14) and so will we. We may appear undignified, but we are not here for man. We are prepared to get more undignified than this for the Lord. In the Bible, dancing is referenced 14 times in the NIV. It's referenced 19 times in the KJV! So hop to it! We do not believe uncontrolled flailing of the body is appropriate. Sign up for beginner dance lessons on Sunday afternoons at 4pm.

Why We Rip Our Clothes

More than singing, hand-lifting, or dancing, we at Bedazzled believe in ripping our clothes as a form of worship. Mentioned 29 times in the NIV (32 in the KJV), individuals would "tear," had "torn," or unashamedly "tore" their clothes as a sign of humility. Why not demonstrate your inability to control life? Give control over to the Lord. At Bedazzled, we want you to join us by releasing your pride. Why not participate in an activity that is 50% more important than singing or hand lifting and up to 100% more important than dancing? Sackcloth is available in the foyer for 1st time visitors.


Robin said...

HAAAAA! Hilarious... especially because I just today finished reading a totally related true-to-life news article about forbidding/allowing forms of worship based on their appearance in the scriptures. Check this out - http://newsok.com/article/keyword/3201750/
It really makes you think...

A Different Robin said...

HA! Local clothing stores are going to love this. And churches may need to have seperate sections for men and women-it could get pretty inappropriate. And what about kids who use this as an excuse to get new clothes. This could really cause financial problems for some people if they have to constantly replace church clothes. Generally singing, hand lifting and dancing don't result in damage to anything (unless they're really 'Spirit filled.')

Jim Pemberton said...

This is too funny! I've heard all kinds of famous ultra-fundy preachers use the ol' "It says it this many times in the Bible" hermeneutical principle. Combine that with the Regulative principle and you may have something here!