04 January, 2008

Don't Miss The "Amazing Air-Gun"!!!!

You've heard him rant against Calvinisim. You've seen him tasered live on stage. Now see the amazing Air-Gun Caner like you've never seen him before! You'll not want to miss "The Amazing Air-Gun and His Traveling Arminian Circus!"

Watch and listen in awe and wonder as The Amazing Air-Gun makes profound theological points and backs them up with the most amazing illustrations out there today! You'll not want to miss the amazing feats such as...

-Bungee jumping over a pit of live alligators (illustrating the virgin birth)
-Setting himself on fire (illustrating the perils of Calvinisim)
-Being sawed in half (illustrating the rapture)
-Being buried alive beneath an ant bed while covered in honey (illustrating the parable of the Sower and the Seed)
-Making himself float (illustrating the parting of the Red Sea)

Also watch in amazement as The Amazing Air-Gun makes the collected works of John Owen disappear live on stage!

And you want want to miss his grand finale when he offers an invitation by being fired out of a cannon through five rings of fire into a tank of piranhas.

Be sure not to miss the Biblical exposition of a lifetime. When "The Amazing Air-Gun and His Traveling Arminian Circus" comes to town!

13 comments:

CDJ said...

Thank you.

Darrin said...

That man's a loose canon. (spelling intentional)

Benjamin P. Glaser said...

Great Blog. I am glad I found it.

Chris said...

I'd like to buy some tickets.

Is there a bulk discount or group rate available?



(BTW, good one, Darrin...)

Richard Boyce said...

I heard yesterday that Liberty University is bottling water from a nearby spring and calling it "Liberty Water", or something akin to that.


I bet you anything it's laced with Calvinix.

CDJ said...

That's true. There is a spring under a building on the premises... it drains into a concrete holding tank until a truck can come take it to the bottling plant.

I'm scared to use the water fountain in between class periods.

Rhett said...

Finney would be proud of Ergun!

Terry Delaney said...

I know many hyper-calvinists! They have ADD and always want to share the Gospel in every conversation because they know that it will not return void! Matter of fact, I pray that I may become more hyper in my calvinism every day. (Hey if knucklehead Caner can redefine terms, I can too, right?!)

dashton said...

I really thought that this was a satirical webpage until I read this article! Humph! If you guys can't find something to satirise, make it up!

Team Tominthebox News Network said...

Dashton,

sat·ire [sat-ahyuhr]
–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

So explain to me how this post doesn't satirize Ergun Caner having himself tasered live on stage.

David said...

I was attempting a little joke! SOme christians are into some things that are so weird that this sort of stuff could be true.

After all, isn't this aprt of the point of your blog??

Team Tominthebox News Network said...

David,

Ah! I see. Sorry. I thought you were perhaps a closet Ergun Caner fan getting all riled up.

-Tom

David said...

Ah! Nope. Never heard of the guy before I read this blog.

Considering some of the idiocy that is practiced as real church some of your stuff doesn't actually seem that far out there....

I also used to be a fan of The Wittenberg Door, especially the Truth is Weirder than Fiction section.