23 November, 2007

TBNN After Thanksgiving Day Sale!!!! Hot Deals on Clearance Items

NET FINNEY 2.0 - The most popular Calvinist/Reformed Internet filter out there today. It's saved millions of unsuspecting Christians from being infected with Reformed theology.

Was: $39.95
Now: $19.95!

Rick Warren's 40 Days of Porpoises: Warren's gripping work dealing with Christian animal rights. A must for any Vegan-Christian friend.

Was: $19.95
Now: $12.95!

Talking Fred Phelps Doll: The perfect gift for your darling dumpling this Christmas. Make the life of your little one complete with Talking Fred.

Was: $9.99
Now: $1.49

The ePhod: Make sure your Indy-Fundy only listens to "good" music! The ePhod ensures that nothing but music with the right balance between rhythm, melody and harmony will play. And NO SONGS WITH DRUMS!

Was: $249.00
Now: $139.00!

The TNAIRSECCLKJMV (t-nair-seckel-KJM-vee): Now the most complicated translation is more affordable. For the loved one in your life who must have every translation under the sun.

Was: $59.99
Now: $35.95

Spiritryl Charismatic Enhancement: Need a little charismatic boost? Having trouble really being "filled"? With Spiritryl all of your worries will end. With over 2000mg of Caffeine, 5000mg of Vitamin B along with 5000mg of Ginseng and Sugar, you're guaranteed to have a Charismatic episode or your money back.

Was: $19.95
Now: $9.95

Calvinix Reformed Theology Inhibitor: Our most popular product of all time. Calvinix blocks those nasty Reformed thoughts before they ever make it to your brain. Supplies limited.

Was: $19.95
Now: $8.95!


Joe Blackmon said...

40 days of Porpoises, huh? Wonder where you got THAT idea.

Haa haa.

Team Tominthebox News Network said...


Actually, I did an article about that way back in January of this year. Check the archives. It's not new.


PaPaMarc said...

I am not affiliated in any way with TBNN but I will have to put in an endorsement for Calvinix.
We started putting the contents of a few capsules in the communion juice here at Shady Grove FWB and we have had no problems with that Reformed Theology heresy.
Thanks TBNN!

G. F. McDowell said...

I will reveal the secret, surprise ending to the 40 Days of Porpoises:

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish!

anya said...

Oh my... does the ePhod play CDs if the girls in the cover picture are wearing pants?


Rev.J. Theodore Helms said...

Would you please, please send me my first bottle of "Spiritryl." I think I have forgotten how to speak in tongues like Bro. Hagin taught me... and I just don't care anymore.

Seriously (if I can use that term here) this is hilarious! Thanks.

Joe Blackmon said...

Team tominthebox news network

I was just kidding. I mean, the site is about humor, right?


Jonathan said...

Are there any serious side affects for taking Calvinix and Spiritryl at the same time?

Darrin said...

Jonathan, this combination is dangerous: You'll speak in tongues and then marvel at your own choice of words.