25 July, 2007

Man Goes on Mission to "Save Satan"

Dearborn, Il - Aaron Plaster thinks he has the solution to all of the problems humanity has faced since the beginning. For years, Plaster has wrestled with the problem of evil in the world and the billions upon billions of people that are lost and will never be saved.

"I just can't get over the thought that out there in the world there are all these lost people who are never going to be saved" said Plaster. "I know Jesus died and all of that to save people, but not everyone accepts him and believes in him. I know this might sound blasphemous but if Jesus' death and resurrection was supposed to save the world it's not doing a very good job. What I mean is that it saves those few here and there that make a decision, but how can the rest of the billions of people out there be saved if Satan keeps tricking them?"

So Plaster set out about a year ago to find a solution for the problem of sin until this past week when the idea came to him.

"I read the Bible over and over again, and finally it hit me" he said. "The problem all began with Satan. Satan apparently fell long before Adam and Eve did, and he tempted Adam and Eve to sin. The Bible also depicts Satan as causing trouble throughout the earth. So it all goes back to him. If there were no Satan then there would be no sin. But Satan is a spirit, so I can't destroy him, but I shouldn't want to destroy him, because I'm supposed to love my enemies right? So if salvation is to ever come to all the earth then Satan must get saved."

Now Plaster has set out on a campaign to "convert Satan" spreading his idea on the internet and to every Christian he comes in contact with.

"We've got two main parts to this plan" stated Plaster. "First we're going to get people to pray for the old Devil. We need people praying for his salvation. Secondly, we need people to witness to him. We can't see him, but we know he's there, so the best way to do that is to just talk out loud and tell him the gospel. Like yesterday morning I was sitting in my kitchen witnessing to the Devil saying 'God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life, if you would only ask him into your heart today Satan.' I know he's listening, and I hope that he gets the message."

So far people have been reluctant to join with Plaster in his "mission" citing passages of Scripture that show that Satan's fate is already sealed. Still Plaster is determined to spread his message of "hope" for the world.

"If Satan gets saved then it's all over" said Plaster. "There would be no more evil, no more pain, and everyone would go to heaven because there would be no more devil to trick people into not making a decision. Everyone needs to jump on board with this mission."

Plaster is currently raising money to pursue his "mission work" full time. Donations can be made in both U.S. Dollars or Euros.

7 comments:

Les said...

Interesting thought...can't blame the guy for trying at least. :)

W.A. Foote said...

"I know this might sound blasphemous but if Jesus' death and resurrection was supposed to save the world it's not doing a very good job."

Blasphemous-any time we say God doesn't do what he says he will do, your right it blasphemous!

I think this says it all, I hope those who don't understand the doctrines of Grace will see the danger of hoping in man for salvation.

Darrin said...

"Like yesterday morning I was sitting in my kitchen witnessing to the Devil saying 'God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life ...'" - too much.
That method's gotta work for the devil - it works for everyone! Sadly, though, this does reflect all-too-common "humanistic Christianity" - all that matters is that everyone ends up happy, never mind what God decrees!

Anonymous said...

Oh sure, you can seem all spiritual Brothers Foote and Darrin, but you only posted those skeptical comments because ... the "Devil Made You Do It."

Seriously, this is an interesting thought, but not really up to the usual humorous standard of TBNN.

Jeff said...

BTW - THAT^^^ is my comment, but the login thingy froze, so I just went anonymous to get it posted...

Sewing said...

"God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life, if you would only ask him into your heart today..."

I cringe in embarrassment at my one attempt to delivering the Gospel in this manner to an unbeliever near and dear to me.

Thank God (literally) that he taught me the doctrines of grace before things could go completely off the rails, although my (and fellow believers') "I made the decision; so can you" approach did a lot of short-term damage.

Now I just bear passive witness to her, and pray that he will work in her heart and work soon to bring her to repentance and salvation.

J said...

I know it sounds crazy, but it has been taught from time to time that Satan can be saved. It is completely blasphemous and anti-biblical, but here is a link to an article (you have to pay to read it) about the history of this idea. I have heard that there are professing Christians who pray for the devil's conversion. They should be praying for themselves!

The Salvation of Satan
C. A. Patrides
Journal of the History of Ideas, Vol. 28, No. 4 (Oct. - Dec., 1967), pp. 467-478

http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0022-5037(196710%2F12)28%3A4%3C467%3ATSOS%3E2.0.CO%3B2-D