25 June, 2007

Faith Actually Moves Mountain

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA

Carlie Shiner always believed in the saying that "faith can move a mountain," and over the weekend that statement proved true. Shiner, a life-long resident of New Orleans, always had a love for the beauty of the mountains, but also loved her native city and state, totally devoid of any natural elevation above 600 feet. She moved back to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina to rebuild her home and start over. But her love for the mountains never left her, and she longed to be inspired by their beauty and awe. So she began to pray.

"I believe what the Bible says when it says that faith can move a mountain" said Shiner. "So I started praying for a mountain, literally. They're beautiful and awe-inspiring, and New Orleans needs inspiration right now. We need something to lift our spirits."

But Shiner was very specific in her requests. She did not simply ask for just any mountain, but one in particular. Having visited Seattle, Washington in 2004 to spend time with friends, Shiner was struck by the majesty of Mt. Rainer.

"Mt. Rainer is amazing" she said. "I've seen beautiful mountains in the Carolinas and Tennessee and other places, but nothing compares to Rainer. I knew that was the mountain I wanted. That was the mountain New Orleans needed."

So beginning in December of 2005 she began to pray, daily, then hourly that Mt. Rainer would be "moved" to Louisiana, believing that one day she would open her curtains and there it would be.

"People thought I was nuts" said Shiner. "But I knew better. I just needed to have more faith and then my prayers would be answered. So I started praying, and fasting even more."

Finally, this past Sunday Shiner's prayers were answered, and now, as she revels in the beauty of her conquest of faith, the entire country is in shock.

"We are still working with the government to try and figure out what's going on here" said New Orleans Mayor, Ray Nagin. "The whole city, state, and country are just in utter shock over this. We've received calls from the State of Washington, and sure enough, Mt. Rainer is no longer there."

In addition to simply being baffled as to how this occurred, scientists are also deeply concerned that Louisiana's warm climate will not be able to sustain the mountains glaciers, and that a sudden melting of them might bring about massive flooding in the below sea level area.

"Those glaciers are going to melt within 3 months" said geologist Michael Hardgrave. "That's going to be a massive amount of water that is suddenly released into this area. Mass flooding will take place unless something is done."

6 comments:

Sewing said...

She named it, she claimed it!

millerpla.net said...

You know, this one's really weird...

I think it's funny because it's like satire of your satire. It’s almost self-parody. Not to say that it’s bad... well, maybe a little strange is all… I like pure randomness! But I think the pure randomness left everyone to shocked to respond.

I mean, what are they supposed to say? “Haha! God sure pulled a fast one on her! Just like a tricky old genie! Everyone’s going to drown! Hahahaha!” That sound’s wrong…

Or are they supposed to say, “Wow! If only the modern church understood that prayer is really pointless, because things are best the way they are!” Nobody’s going to say that…

Or maybe, “Hahahahaha! This is hilarious! Jesus wasn’t seriously saying faith could do anything like that! He was just joking around! What a great post!”

The problem is, everyone’s trying to find some deep meaning to this, and they can’t find it, so they don’t know what to say. It’s just goofy!

Team Tominthebox News Network said...

millerpla.net

There are a mix of points here.

A) It's just silly. Having grown up in Slidell, LA just outside of New Orleans, the sight of Mt. Rainer against the skyline of New Orleans just tickles my funny bone.

B) Your last point did come close to the actual point. No, I don't think Jesus was "joking around" but I also don't think he literally meant that if we just have enough faith we can improve the landscape of our flatlands to be more interesting.

So with tongue firmly planted in cheek, the story is written from a little different perspective than what is normally done here. The "name-it-and-claim-it" crowd might actually read this article and say "Amen sister." That's what makes it funny I guess.

I dunno...I'm just ramblin. Where's my picture of Lloyd-Jones when I need it.

-Tom

millerpla.net said...

Good points.

I was just trying to analyze the confusion and silence of regular commenters…

Sewing said...

What am I, chopped liver? ;)

Sewing said...

Actually, I was wondering the same thing. My one comment was the only one there for such a long time. It seemed everyone was just stunned.

It was a joke on the theme of the "name-it-and-claim-it"/"health-and-wealth"/"prosperity gospel" crowd: the idea that you can get ANYTHING your heart (read: flesh) desires. It's scriptural, but the misapplication comes in confusing godly desire with fleshly desire. And a corollary is that if you're not getting what your heart (i.e., flesh) truly desires, then it's because your faith isn't strong enough.

So lo and behold, this woman prays for a mountain, and the Lord actually moves it! The humour was in the sort of stunnedness that would have greeted the world had such a thing occurred, not least the woman herself who prayed for it! The stunnedness evidently transferred itself to this comment thread.