23 March, 2007

Roman Catholic Church Experiments with "Pre-Confession" Cards

VATICAN CITY

From the Vatican came a new directive on Thursday that many hope will bolster the faith of Roman Catholics worldwide. Though the number of Catholics around the world stands at over one billion, there has been a growing concern over the lack of "firm commitment to the faith." Many Catholics attend mass infrequently, and even fewer regularly attend confession. So in an effort to increase interest in the faith the Roman Catholic Church will begin experimenting with Pre-Confession cards in a number of parishes around the world.

"The concept is a very simple one." Said Fr. Giralamo Francisco, a Vatican spokesperson. "Parishioners may now confess their sins in advance and avoid the problems of trying to make it to confession."

In about 2 minutes, and for a "small fee" a parishioner can simply go online and fill out a short questionnaire stating which sins he or she wishes to confess in advance. Once pre-confessed, he or she is given penance to do and, after a "small fee" is paid, the parishioner will be able to download and print out his or her pre-confession card. The parishioner then keeps the card and simply punches out or scratches out one of the spaces when a sin is committed.

"Cards will be available in amounts of 5, 10, 20, & 25." Said Francisco. "There will be a 'small fee' for the cards, but the higher amount that one buys the lower cost it will be per confessed sin."

If the idea is received well the Vatican hopes to explore more opportunities for "simplifying the faith."

"We've also toyed with the idea of shipping holy water directly to people's front door, and even Eucharist delivery for a 'small fee' of course." Said Francisco. "We believe that the practice of the faith should not be a hindrance to one's faith."

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a nice idea for a Christmas present! I think that I'll get everyone in my family one; I just hope that I can afford the 'small fee'.

AJ said...

haha, why does anyone need to confess when they can order Medi-Sin?! Stop sin at the source!

DT said...

Ah, the modern-day version of indulgences.

Jeff said...

HA -

After hearing the Middle Schoolers at our FCA meeting yesterday, I bet we could use this as a very profitable fund raiser.

PhotoJoeAZ said...

When the online form is sent,
From those sins one does repent!

-- Johann Tetzel

A few questions, though:

-- Do you get a freebie once you fill up your card?

-- If they do the eucharist-by-mail thing, what would the insured value have to be (if you believe in transubstantiation)?

-- Is there any plan for the Mormons to do the same? You could buy one of these cards and a Starbucks card, and they would just cancel each other out.

Sewing said...

Next: A sin credit card. The balance is run up every time one sins. The longer one's balance goes unpaid, the more and more oppressive one's guilt becomes. If one repents and pays off the balance within a certain period of time, however, he or she is guilt-free! The period for repentance free of genuine guilt would be called the "grace period."

pilgrim said...

"-- Do you get a freebie once you fill up your card?"

One would think that would be a big selling point

Tominthebox News Network said...

Sewing,

That's a great idea! Kind of like a "Sin Visa." You could have interest rates that would build up time in Purgatory if you didn't pay them off. I'm on it.

-Tom

Anonymous said...

If only Luther wrote those 95 Theses in 20th century English this wouldn't be a problem today. Maybe Protestants can come up with a mail in for "Blog Speak 95 Theses" with a nail included for the ease of use for those of us who can't agree on anything other than we're not Roman Catholic.