07 March, 2007

Every Pastor Needs One!

It's every pastor's nightmare; the town infidel dies and he is called upon to preach the funeral. Perhaps the man was the town drunk, a drug dealer or a notorious womanizer, but the pastor is expected to "say something nice."

Now, the Reverend Al Sharpton reveals his secrets of how to preach anyone into heaven, no matter how they lived their life.

Sharpton teaches his methods using real life examples from his years in the ministry, during which time he has been called upon to preach numerous funerals.

Chapters include...

-The Town Drunk
-Joseph Stalin: Yes, You Can!
-Intolerance: The Only Unforgivable Sin

"The best book I've read since 'Finding Jesus in Vishnu and the Krishna.' A must-read!" - Bishop John Shelby Spong

"Super duper!" - Joel Osteen

"Hey, I thought my picture was supposed to be on the front too!" - Jesse Jackson



Pastor Bob said...

Joel Osteen says "Super Duper!" ...Now THAT was funny!! LOL

SuzW said...

Whew, I held my laugh all day long...now, THAT was an exercise in discipline.

Please don't do that to us again. And if you do, DO NOT use Lima beans. They make me laugh.

Tom's Wife said...

Thank you all for your prayers for Tom's safety. I heard from him this morning from Moscow, and all is well.

Fred said...

After reading Sharpton, Osteen came out with his book, "Your best funeral now." Chapters include, "Your best teeth whitening for funerals", "Your best best hairdo", "Your best life now that it's over."

Sewing said...

"God wants you to be buried in the fanciest coffin possible. He wants you to be buried in gold and the finest mahogany! You deserve it!" wrote Osteen.

Pasture Scott said...

Oh Tominthebox, where have you been all my life? Now my previously insipid little existence has at long last found meaning. I may even crack a bottle of the cheap church wine to celebrate...